All comments by Sherlock Holmes

John, fetch me my revolver.

Sherlock Holmes 16 March 13:50

Stop now.

Sherlock Holmes 16 March 13:36

Henry was a "normal-looking bloke"? Really, John, you should become a professional author!

Sherlock Holmes 16 March 12:22

John, fetch me my revolver.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 13:32

This is incredibly tedious. Is this how you people talk to each other? What next, the weather?

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:25

Please, Mrs Hudson. I'd really love some... brunch.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:13

Sorry, Mrs Hudson. John's given me a look. Apparently that was rude.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:09

Well, stop typing and surprise us!

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:07

But you've just come back from the cafe which means you've lots of cakes you won't eat.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:04

Can't be bothered. Bring some food up, Mrs Hudson.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 12:01

That's something to live and hope for.

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 11:55

Are we really doing this?

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 11:48

How does it? And why should people want to know the real me? What's the point?!

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 11:37

Really, John, what's the point in this post? If you can't detail what happened in a case because of some ridiculous law thing then why bother?

Sherlock Holmes 12 March 11:32

Still not interested.

Sherlock Holmes 15 August 12:17

He died. End of story.

Sherlock Holmes 14 August 10:22

You don't suppose correctly.

Sherlock Holmes 14 August 07:32

It wasn't real.

Sherlock Holmes 14 July 14:17

Thank you, Jacob. It's good to know that someone appreciates what I do.

Sherlock Holmes 16 June 17:02

Well, I'm glad that our purpose here is to entertain people. There was me thinking we were solving crimes.

Sherlock Holmes 16 June 16:14

I didn't steal the bus. I borrowed it. And it's not as if the tourists seemed to mind.

Sherlock Holmes 30 May 10:02

I went shopping earlier. There's some cans of beer in the fridge. Next to the feet.

Sherlock Holmes 02 May 16:50

You never told me about Sarah.

Sherlock Holmes 02 May 15:17

Still alive then?

Sherlock Holmes 01 April 13:28

John, I've only just found this post. I've glanced over it and honestly, words fail me. What I do is an exact science and should be treated as such. You've made the whole experience seem like some kind of romantic adventure. You should have focussed on my analytical reasoning and nothing more.

Sherlock Holmes 28 March 17:46

John! I need you to book me some aeroplane tickets! I'm going to Minsk!

Sherlock Holmes 28 March 15:55

Also, please note that sentences can also end in full stops. The exclamation mark can be overused.

Sherlock Holmes 28 March 13:08

John, this is appalling. It's all 'and then we ran here! And then we ran there! And it was a code!' What about the analysis, John? The analysis! How did I work it out? How did I know where to go? And as for 'All these people he involves in his adventures... '. My what? I'm sorry, obviously I did't realise I was a character in a children's story.

Sherlock Holmes 28 March 13:04

Not going to try the secret message yourself, John?

Sherlock Holmes 27 March 22:09

The crushing tedium of boring people with their boring everyday grievances.

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 20:20

I. AM. BORED. And I'm wondering what temperature I'd need to create to blow up your cans of beer...

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 18:23

That's demonstrably untrue. That clip of a cat falling off a shelf for example. The one you insisted on watching twelve times.

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 18:16

It's nice to have something to look forward to.

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 18:09

I've heard of him, yes.

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 18:04

Where have I heard that phrase before? Diamonds are forever?

Sherlock Holmes 23 March 17:08